Meet Cherie Jones, the dating coach who’s redefining what it means to find love in today’s complex world! With a bold, no-nonsense approach and her innovative app LGIO (Learning, Growing, Integrity, and Originality), Cherie isn’t afraid to challenge dating norms and push her clients to confront the uncomfortable truths about modern romance. From her early struggles with online dating to her rise as a leading coach in 2024, Cherie’s journey is as inspiring as it is enlightening!
In this MG exclusive interview, Cherie opens up about the driving forces behind her career, the societal norms she’s determined to confront, and the innovative strategies she employs to empower her clients. Get ready to explore a new frontier in dating – one that’s grounded in authenticity and real human connection…
What inspired you to become a dating coach, and how did your journey begin?
The journey began this year (2024), officially in February, yet it started in 2019 when I became single after a long-term relationship with my daughter’s father ended and I faced the dating apps confident that I would be in a relationship even quicker with the app’s help. I was of course wrong and I found myself desperately trying to create the best profile, go on dates with men I knew I shouldn’t be with, and ultimately I felt like an unwanted failure of a woman because everything I thought wasn’t working.
Then at the perfect moment in 2019 (during lockdown), of course, I was alone, with only the online world of men to interact with! After many days, weeks and even on a couple of occasions, months of committing to just one human to find that their online, phone version was a well-masked/hidden version that I overlooked because I didn’t know what I wanted in a partner, I began to ask myself “How can I get better at dating?” This involved many Google searches, online courses with popular dating coaches, and endless podcasts on everything to do with dating, love and how to find your perfect partner. The reflection point hit me at three months: I was the problem; I needed to work on becoming the “perfect partner” before seeking one.
So, back to the official HMRC beginning of becoming a dating coach which was suggested by my partner (new relationship, under a year) during another session of me stressing about what my Ikigai was: “Why not be a dating coach? Help people, like you’ve helped others and get paid to do it”. Writing that now seems so strange as it is who I am, but on October 23 it was a statement I laughed at, despite every course, qualification and experience I had gathered in the last six years pointing me so clearly to this.
You emphasise breaking “BS social norms” in dating. Can you explain what you mean by this and give an example of a common norm you challenge?
The point-blank unacceptable behaviours which we have normalised and that I call “BS” include: the endless options that lead humans to feel it’s appropriate to lead on multiple people whilst never committing to any of them, add the get-out-of-jail-free card of being able to completely disappear without explanation or accountability by ghosting and blocking people. I also call BS on social media: “slide into DM’s” etc.
I feel it has corrupted people’s ability to connect, trust, or be themselves knowing they are potentially competing with the entire world.
How do your face-to-face coaching sessions differ from other dating advice methods available?
My sessions are based on the individual’s needs, wants and desires following talks, questions and what they believe isn’t working for them.
We do not offer any online learning; however, I do throw content at my members relatable to them. I have felt in life the most honest, raw and uncomfortable feedback isn’t something we are used to receiving (even if we have paid to) but is needed in times of love. I ensure that my feedback is clear, to the point and is followed with support after.
Can you describe one of your unorthodox methods and how it has helped a client achieve better results in their dating life?
Good question! One of my methods is called ‘extreme exposure’. It’s a list of 50 things to do that involve possible rejection, showing you that if you do it enough times you become desensitised to the feeling and know that you will live after, which helps with confidence and managing emotions in high pressure situations and potentially embarrassing moments.
Name the most important thing for building a secure and happy relationship…
Honesty. Like, real honesty, which requires both humans in that relationship to have a certain level of self-confidence, self-esteem and security within themselves.
How do you tailor your coaching strategies to fit different individuals with unique dating challenges?
For me, I need to not only meet the person in real life, but I also require little details like their love language, attachment styles and personality scores from the variety of quizzes I use. Once I have all this data, I create bespoke packages that can include confidence boosting, rejection training, mock dates and extreme exposure. I have found that flexibility is always needed in this area and that the needs can change depending on one good – or bad -experience.
Can you share a success story where a client made significant changes in their dating life?
I would love to! It’s from a 50-year-old male client of mine. He’d never been on dating apps before and had been single for over five years…
We built profiles, went through some basic dating etiquette and off he went! He’s a catch so it wasn’t long before he was messaging saying he was speaking to this person, then this person and so on. He got ghosted (of course!) and couldn’t figure out what had happened, so I mentioned during a meeting that they were no doubt speaking to a few different people and it hit him – he couldn’t please everyone; he just had to be as authentic as possible!
So, after two weeks, he changed one of the prompts on his profile to be more ‘him’; more real instead of being a people pleaser and that evening he matched with his current partner! They have been dating for just over five months now and it’s going really well!
What are some common dating mistakes you see people making, and how can they avoid them?
My biggest annoyance is any sort of filtered pictures on dating app profiles; the use of younger photos, sometimes 10 years younger, is something I still see going on.
Finally, and most importantly: DON’T LIE ON YOUR PROFILE.
How do you incorporate modern dating trends and technology into your coaching sessions?
My eagerness to know all & learn more keeps me in the loop; whether that’s reading blog posts about the latest buzzword in dating, the constant release of dating apps, or diving into the different worlds of single people. This includes groups like the *incel & *femcel growing communities, (they both heavily dislike the opposite sex). I have not shut off from hearing anyone, which gives me an advantage in knowing the latest trends in those worlds and incorporating that into my coaching when applicable.
*Incel meaning | Lexicology. The term “involuntary celibate” (shortened to “incel”) refers to self-identifying members of an online subculture based around the inability to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one, a state they describe as “inceldom” or “incelibacy”.
*Femcel meaning | The above but flipped.
What advice do you have for people who feel overwhelmed by the current dating landscape?
I would ask why they feel that way first, I believe (from my own experience) we don’t help ourselves. I’d look at their friends, the content they absorb and the songs they listen to as this all plays a part in why they may feel that way. There is also childhood trauma and relationship trauma that could be playing a part in their negative feelings towards dating or looking for love.
My advice would be to sit and write all the qualities, personality traits, and things you want in a partner. Look hard at this list then ask yourself “Am I this person?”
Why would you expect this from someone without being able to give it too?
How do you help clients balance their dating life with other aspects of their personal and professional lives?
The biggest thing here would be how long are they spending a day on dating apps or scrolling Instagram/Facebook for singles. In a recent survey done by Forbes Health they found that on average, respondents reported spending nearly 51 minutes per day on dating apps – with women reporting a slightly higher amount of time (52 minutes) than men (49 minutes), showing us we are doing this daily and most of the time not getting the results we want! This then makes every aspect of life harder; feeling unwanted, exhausted and done with dating. I would advise people to look for real-life single events near where they live.
Can you discuss the importance of setting boundaries in dating…
Boundaries are something we could all do with – and not just in the romantic setting. However, I appreciate we don’t all know our boundaries and you don’t have any until you’ve done the work and then you get tested, which yes, does happen a lot in a new relationship. The importance is that you are not doing anything you are not ok with, even if you are really attracted to them.
What future trends or changes in the dating world do you foresee, and how are you preparing to address them in your coaching practice?
AI has been on my watch list for a while; this impressive, still-growing bit of tech has already hit the dating scene both with AI boyfriends and girlfriends, or AI Matt (released in September 2024).
Indeed, Matthew Hussey, dating coach, has released his AI to assist with all matters of love along with the ever-growing rise of sex bots (and it’s not just female ones!).
Good, bad, or ugly it doesn’t matter, AI is cementing itself nicely in the singles scene. So, how do I prepare for this? By remaining fully human in all services I offer as a dating expert, host and protagonist for this world! There are rumours of dating apps in the process of testing AI concierge which is a go-between on the apps for people, following this I felt necessary to offer something similar which again keeps it human and authentic.
Besides your work, what are some hobbies or interests that you’re truly passionate about?
Parenting! I am fortunate enough to have a 9-year-old daughter who is a master of keeping me curious and wanting to learn more about the child’s brain.
I am also a fan of cold water therapy and truly believe if you want to feel just 1% better every day, doing some form of it will instantly bring you pleasure.
What’s one travel destination on your bucket list that’s not typically found in travel guides, and what intrigues you about it?
Austin Texas, is becoming a big scene of comedy, self-improvement and opportunity. I feel I would take away so much from being there regardless of the amount of time.
What was the best piece of advice you were ever given?
“You have got this” – a guiding principle of mine.
Outside of your professional roles, what’s something you’ve always wanted to learn or try but haven’t had the opportunity to explore yet?
I would like to dance. I have always enjoyed moving my body to music but to do it in a controlled, executed way and know how to move will be an endorphin boost for me, for sure!
Finally, what is your life motto?
“Hurt me with the truth, don’t comfort me with a lie” – says it all.